Sexting – the fine art of exchanging sexy words, pictures, videos, and other digital media with the intent of arousing yourself and another person – has gained traction and popularity over the past few years, but it’s really just a new version of a very old idea. Horny lotharios and fiery temptresses have exchanged sexy thoughts for as long as the written word has existed – and even before that, probably. Sexting is just a real-time, in-your-face version of the lusty letters that used to be exchanged back in the day.
That said, just because sexy communiqué has been around forever doesn’t mean we’ve perfected it as a species. There are infinite different ways to go about it, some of them more artful and arousing than others.
Here, then, are 8 “sexamples” of sexts you could send – quoted or paraphrased, in some cases, from my actual folder of past sexts! I hope they get your gears turning, in more ways than one...
While specificity can be super hot in a sext, there’s something to be said for a little mystery, too. If you purposely leave some details blank (like, in this example, what exactly you plan on doing to them when you get your hands on them), it allows your sextee to imagine whatever they want. Maybe they’ll even respond by telling you what they’re thinking about, thereby giving you more fodder to work with.
Sexting doesn’t just have to be about things you’d like to do, or things you plan on doing; it can also be about things you’ve already done. A morning-after text can be a fantastic way to communicate that you had a good time and would like to reprise it – and, if you’re both in the mood, it can can even devolve into a sexy exchange where you excitedly discuss what you want to do to each other next time!
Not every sext needs to be flowery and verbose; sometimes the simplest thing does the trick! Adding evocative adjectives and adverbs can paint a picture in your sextee’s mind (and in their pants). Woof.
Sexting is a sexual encounter of sorts, and just like any other type of sexual encounter, it requires consent. Just because someone’s consented to sexting with you before doesn’t mean they will necessarily continue to – if, for example, they’re at work, or out for lunch with their mom. So it’s important to check in before you launch into full-out sexy-talk, and contrary to what some people say, there are many, many hot ways to do this.
Not everyone needs power exchange as part of their arousal process, but if you know your sextee is a li’l kinky (or a lot kinky), it can be fun to play with that in your sexts. Ramp up slowly with this type of interaction, pay attention to their signals, and ask them if you’re unsure whether something is okay – but for someone who likes being bossed around, there are few things sexier than receiving an order via sext.
Sexual attraction isn’t all about genitals, and your sexts don’t have to be, either! Engaging and complimenting someone’s brain makes sexting into a more full-bodied experience, and helps build attraction and rapport that isn’t confined to the bedroom. Think about why you’re attracted to someone, and communicate that to them – even if it’s not all scintillating all the time.
Sexts can be about what you want to do, what you hope to do, what you’ve already done – or what you wish you’d done. You can revise a moment in your shared history by telling your sextee how you wish it’d gone differently – if, for example, their boss/parents/kid hadn’t been around – and it’ll take their breath away.
The most important quality of a good sext: ENTHUSIASM. If you take away nothing else from this article, make it this! Assuming you’re not trying to be “cool” and “chill” (which, frankly, is boring anyway) and you know the person you’re sexting is into you and down to be sexted, you should go whole-hog with your language. There is nothing hotter than being intensely wanted by someone you also want – so let ‘em know you want them!