Ah, squirting! Some people love it; some find it gross. For some, it denotes the heights of arousal and pleasure; for others, it merely means having to do an extra load of laundry. Some people desperately want to learn how to do it; some couldn’t care less. If you’re in the former camp, read on: these tips will get you started on your path toward learning how to squirt!
The chemical makeup of vaginal ejaculate has been hotly debated for decades. Studies on this topic have been small (due to science bureaucracies’ chronic unwillingness to fund such “salacious” projects) and have had mixed results. If you ask me, here’s what you need to know: there may well be urine in some vulva-havers’ ejaculatory emissions, just as there are traces of urine in semen, because it all passes through the same pipes as pee. Additionally, however, ejaculate contains its own unique ingredients, including fructose, prostate-specific antigen (PSA), and more.
That said, whether the liquid itself is or isn’t pee (which may vary from person to person or even from day to day) shouldn’t really matter: infections can be transmitted via urine, but that’s true for any sexual fluid, so stay aware of your STI status and your partners’ before playing. Any fluid released during sex is essentially a sexual fluid, rife with potential hotness and undeserving of shame. Squirt on, baby!
The sensations leading up to squirting can often feel like you’re going to pee, so laying down a thick towel or a waterproof mattress pad can help you relax instead of tensing up in terror. No one wants to have to do laundry every time they have sex, either, so might as well protect your bed from the (potential) downpour!
While we’re talkin’ preparation: before a session in which you’ll be attempting to squirt, you should use the bathroom (to empty your bladder and lessen your pee-related inhibitions), hydrate well, and place a glass of water and perhaps a snack next to the bed. Sexual exertion can be very draining, so you may need to refuel mid-sesh!
Intense G-spot sensations can feel overwhelming or even painful if you’re not aroused enough when you begin touching that area. Try using fingers or a vibrator externally to get yourself worked up. If you’re playing with a partner, do all the usual yummy foreplay things you do to rev your engine.
While continuing to do those other things that feel good (e.g. stimulating your clitoris and/or nipples), introduce some fingers or a G-spot dildo into your vagina. The G-spot, as you may well know, is located 2 to 3 inches inside the vagina on the upper wall; you can identify it by its ridgy, spongy texture, and the way it tends to swell up when it’s been stimulated for a while. [Try a toy such as a metal nJoy dildo, a wood NobEssence dildo, or a less expensive Double Trouble glass dildo.] Experiment with different motions, speeds, and rhythms, learning what your G-spot likes. Many people prefer hard and fast stimulation on this spot, but that might feel too overwhelming at first if you’re a beginner.
Contrary to what we often see in porn, squirting isn’t usually a speedy process. It takes time for liquid to accumulate in the Skene’s glands from whence squirt comes. If you’re usually a get-’er-done type of masturbator, it might be an adjustment for you to slow down and enjoy the journey, but it could be a nice change of pace. Enjoy the slow ascent of sensations in your body, and focus on the pleasure rather than a goal of squirting or orgasm. Those’ll happen if they happen, and they’ll paradoxically be much easier to achieve if you’re not deadset on them!
Most people clench up their pelvic muscles as they get more and more turned on, but many ejaculators report they need to do the opposite in order to squirt: their muscles need to push outward, or relax entirely, to make ejaculation happen. It might take some time to get used to this if you’re more of a clencher, but practice makes perfect!
if it doesn’t happen right away, or at all. Your body is not broken; there are many factors that can make it difficult or impossible for a person to squirt. Sex educator Nina Hartley, for example, says that try as she might, she’s never been able to squirt, because her urethra is so close to her vaginal opening that it’s always blocked by whatever is stimulating her G-spot.
Trying to make your body do a particular thing is usually a great way to psych yourself out and keep that thing from happening! So do your best to loosen up, have fun, and view these sexperiments as playtime, rather than a goal-oriented trajectory. After all, sex is supposed to be a good time, not a stressful time!